Childhood experiences can have a significant impact on the rest of your life. The wrong types of childhood experiences can lead to serious mental trauma or make it challenging to handle simple, everyday situations. Some experiences are not as serious, but all can affect you in some way or another.
As the title suggests, your childhood can affect your relationships. For instance, your ability to love and trust can be positively or negatively affected by past experiences. Negative experiences can make it nearly impossible to love and trust, whereas positive experiences can make it easy to trust and fall in love.
Today, we will quickly cover five ways your childhood impacts your relationships. Being able to identify possible problem areas will help you move forward in overcoming these relationship killers.
A Lack Of Trust
Trust is one of those things that, if lost, is almost impossible to regain. Through abuse, neglect, or witnessing problems at home, trust can begin to erode. During childhood, this is bad enough, but trust issues continue well into adulthood.
A lack of trust in adulthood can make it difficult to connect with others. In relationships, there is a constant struggle to relate. Because of this, relationships do not have the proper chance to develop and grow.
One way to kill a relationship is to introduce intimacy issues. Some people find it hard to have intimate moments with their significant other, or anyone. Again, opening up is hard for them. Past abuse or not being able to trust can cause this.
When abuse has existed, or when trust has been destroyed, the ability to connect with someone intimately will usually be affected. To be intimate, you have to be able to be vulnerable, and for most, that means being able to let go of your guards and allow the other person to connect on a deeper level. Without this ability, the level of intimacy will be negatively affected and can cause your relationship to fall apart quickly.
For someone who experienced abandonment, relationships can be very hard. There is the feeling that they will leave whenever they get tired of you. These thoughts can lead to anxiety and panic causing irrational behavior. The possibility of abandonment permeates the relationship and can be bad for both parties involved.
For someone dealing with abandonment issues, they can panic and begin acting irrationally. They might start asking questions that are not necessary, causing their partner to question the integrity of the relationship or the mental stability of their partner. Unfortunately, abandonment issues can take center stage in a relationship and can ultimately lead to a catastrophic failure.
Constant Need For Love
Children who do not develop healthy, strong bonds with family and others may become needy adults. They are going to want reassurance that there is love; that nothing is going to go wrong.
They have constant insecurity about their relationships. They may feel as if the person does not love them or as if they are not worthy of love. It can become a struggle to feel confident and secure in any relationship.
This type of neediness can cause the other person to leave the relationship, in part, because they feel as though it is more of a job or chore than an actual relationship.
If there is a problem with the relationship, they begin to shut down. They cannot handle relationships when things get hard, and they run away as a result. They cannot communicate and therefore sabotage their own relationship.
This could be caused by a parent that was unwilling to listen, who continually wanted it their way or nothing. It could be the fact that the person was unable to communicate effectively growing up. Whatever the reasoning behind it, it has to be addressed or the relationship could suffer continually. Shutting down is not healthy for a long-term relationship.
Certain childhood experiences can easily affect adult relationships. All too often, adults try to push things away or disregard the past in an effort to move forward. Not only is this unhealthy, but it is wrong. Until you address the past, you cannot have a future. Understanding these five ways that your childhood impacts your relationships can help you move forward to a new, healthy future.